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i never thought i could feel loved and lonely at the same time..   
09:32pm 10/03/2005
 
mood: discontent
this might be my shortest entry yet...


well..let me start off saying..certain things in my life seem almost perfect...they get better and better everyday!


while other things leave me feeling like absolute crap.and its my own fault. idk-im making decisions and hoping theyre the right ones...even though they feel wrong..i love him. and maybe now hell really see that he loves me too-maybe even more than he thought he did.
 
     

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hmm...   
01:32pm 05/03/2005
 
mood: contemplative
ive been thinking a lot lately.
everything with sean has really opened up my eyes to so much! i mean, you never know when your life could be over! you really have to live everyday like its your last!! make friends, laugh with people, have fun, and love god. i mean honestly-when all is said and done..i know its going to be me and my god in heaven forever.
I know that on my tombstone the first date doesnt matter..and neither does the second. The only thing that really matters is the dash in between. and what i did with my life, and if i lived it to the fullest!okay...too much ranting. but its true, and people should really think about this stuff!!

its so weird how many different groups of friends people have. Like seriously. like honestly. i could never have a big birthday party bc too many of my friends would argue and it just wuldnt work. anyways. lol im randomly talking about my birthday..which is in october..lol. im so weird!

boys....hm. there is one boy who of course im kinda sorta dating but not really. of course i still like him..but there are so many little things that have happened lately..which leave me confused. and idk. weve been dating for quite a while and idk. it seems like there either needs to be a commitment made..or else im gunna have to figure something out..for my own benifit-so i can stop feeling so confused about where i stand with certian ppl. theres another guy who i would never go for although barbara might. haha. in her weird sorta no attachment way..but thats another story..yeah i dont even know what im talking about!..and theres another boy who i might be interested in..but it would just be too weird. and one last one who i think it would work..although we both have other who we care about more than each other..AND well have to spend more time together and see..and theres one last one..but ive always had a thing for him..even tho i never see him anymore. lol. and thats it. but yeah..just thoghts. right now i dont actually LIKE/wanna be with any one other than the first boy i listed!

yeah well...im sick of doing this. <333 kt byrd
 
     

(1 went to the show | want tickets?)

 
if youre feeling like a pimp...   
01:51pm 19/02/2005
 
mood: curious
ive been listening to that jay z/ linkin park cd a lot. lol *notice the subject of this entry* lol.


hmm so yeah. its funny how the ppl you think know you pretty well..end up not knowing you well at all. this goes mainly for the one girl im talking about but also for some of my other "friends" who are so sure something is going on. im a very curious person. and when you ppl are putting these ideas in my head..it doesnt help. although i have wayyyy too much respect for his relationship to do that. plus hes not THAT attractive..lol. but seriously it kinda hurts my feelings that people think im that low that i would go for someone who is taken.*sigh* im not gunna go on and on about it. bc theres no reason to..ill just leave it at this..i respect relationships.

soo it was a fun week!! and yesterday saam and i made up which is good..i think. lol. im a confusing person! but yeah..everything seems better. had my lesson with erik this morning and that went pretty well! tonight i think me and zenobia are going to the movie or something! but i have to clean first! im so tired from tennis..cleaning is gonna make me twice as tired, oh well!! itll be worth it-to get to go out tonight!

luckily its a 4 day weekend! im so happy about that!! yeah i dont really have anything else to say..


Love is strong yet delicate
It can be broken
To truly love is to understand this
To be in love is to respect this


theres a big difference between loving someone...and being in love with them. remember that before you say youre in love with someone.

ok-now im going to eat and take a nap!!! lol. <333 katiebyrd
 
     

(6 went to the show | want tickets?)

 
   
10:34am 12/02/2005
  this week was okay..better than last week i guess.

yesterday he didnt even call me once..surprisingly i wasnt mad or anything..like i used to be! oh well.

uhh really funny fone call last night from arya..who im almost positive he was trashed..but he says he wasnt! i could hear shawn and ben in the background..it was just funny.

oh yeah-i actually hungout with tayler for the first time in a while..or actually..it was the first time ever. lol hes a funny kid! we went to starbucks-fun stuff. lol hes nice to talk to. i feel sorta comfortable being honest no matter how weird something sounds..prob cause hell say something even weirder in response. haha. lOSER! yeah well-next week were going to the mall with ms emily and that SHOULD be fun... :-)

well im going..my first tennis match is this weds...although i prob wont even play! lol. well see

well im going to play tennis!!! have a great weekend guys!!!
 
     

(3 went to the show | want tickets?)

 
im bored enough to update!   
07:44pm 30/01/2005
 
mood: nervous yet excited!
sometimes i love life! tonight is one of those nights...idk why! this week should be okay..as long as it goes by decently fast. friday night rachels sleeping over-and im gunna find a way to hangout with saam on saturday or sunday. i might kidnap him for a few hours- idc ill do w/e it takes..its been too long.

i wish you could have music on here..oh well- thanks to april my lj looks hawt!! thanks april!

tennis try outs start tomorrow..im soOOoO incredibly nervous! ahhh!
everyone have a great week!!! <3 katiebyrd

ps...the hamster smileys are so cute. i love them.
 
     

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some venting..   
11:38am 29/01/2005
 
mood: confused
hmm..

things are getting really hard like this. Ive been patient and ive tried to understand. but to be honest its not making sense!! i mean if i didnt like this guy A LOT i would have given up a long time ago. but idk. theres something im still holding onto. maybe im trying too hard and i need to just back off- but idk. everytime the thought of actually moving on crosses my mind..he becomes sweet again and i remember why i love him. but i dont know what to do! every now and then i need that reassurance that he cares about me..and i havent gotten it in a while. more like in a looong while. i dont know, the littlest things hurt my feelings! i guess im just confused, hopefully things will get better..soon.


ok!! enough of that! today im supposed to go to joeys party but i dont think thats gunna happen!! which is really gonna make me mad! when i have stuff to do it ices over...when im bored to death..its beautiful! lol.


battle of the bands was cancelled last night..and moved to next friday!! but what a man contest was awesome!! and next friday will be fun-i cant wait!! its gunna be soOo fun! and rachels spending the night after BOTB!!...if it ices over next week..im still going...ILL WALK!!! lol.


ok im gunna go be bored! lol and try to make this thing pretty like everyone elses!! maybe i shuld just stick to xanga! lol.
 
     

(2 went to the show | want tickets?)

 
   
06:28pm 07/01/2005
 
mood: sick
i feel so sick..but im really hungry.

so i got this bc tayler said to...but he doesnt ever have a computer to get on..so idk..i wont post very much bc i have no reason to..i guess ill be like the only person who reads these until he gets back on! oh well.


saam=great-most the time.
school=good-all the time
home=okay-sometimes great..sometimes horrible!
so basically im doing purdy good! miss my emily tho!! we went to the mall last monday! good times! shes awesome! saam went too..but he was kinda on his own a lot! oh well it was still fun!



"its not that i want something serious...just something stable"...my friend carly said that last night..i wish it were that easy! thats sorta how saam and i are..kinda...but i dont wanna jinx myself..

im going out now! to go get a smoothie and stuff<3
 
     

(4 went to the show | want tickets?)

 
   
10:14am 26/12/2004
 
mood: tired
last night i went to the movie with saam..its always fun with him..so theres no need to go into how fun it was..the problem is the same thing happened that always happens..

about 3/4 of the way through my drive home i realized..were not together. and hes not my boyfriend. ive tried so hard to get over this stupid title of "going out"...why cant i just get over it?

idk..its weird. it doesnt BOTHER me..but it would be REALLY nice if it would happen. i guess i should take my own advice and just be there for him as much as he lets me. but its hard..its so hard.




oh well! anyways! christmas was great and my grandparents are about to leave..and then it will be quiet in the house again! and i have to go try and get my new phone to work! and then fine something to do!

im so excited about applying for that job at the pet store..i REALLY hope it works out, bc that would be a goood job and i really need a job right now. oh well..ill find one!

well im tryin to figure out how to set up friends on this and make it pretty..i just havent had much time, oh well! ill do it later! <3
 
     

(1 went to the show | want tickets?)

 
   
10:04pm 24/12/2004
 
mood: anxious
ok i have a lj!
 
     

(1 went to the show | want tickets?)